Dear Diary
by KittyHoran
Summary: Diary entries from a nearly 18 year old.
1. Chapter 1

I did it, I broke up with him. I'd been thinking about it for months, we just weren't working any more, he annoyed me, and I upset him. Why should we stay together, there's no point pretending I could change. Now I have no excuse, I have to sort my life out; lose weight, get a job, focus on studying so I can get good grades. He has completely slipped my mind for the past week since we went on a break, it really showed me how little we're meant to be together. Maybe I should get Tinder, I can experience life like a normal teenager and not feel guilty any more, in a month I'll be 18 and I can go and pick up complete strangers in bars. Have no strings attached sex and not feel responsible for anything. That's the dream. Although of course I'll have to see him again in the future, no matter how much we avoid each other, it's inevitable, he'll take way too long to get over me and it'll just be painful for everyone involved, I never should have dated him in the first place! I mean who dates their fricking step-brother any way. My brother tried to talk my out of it but I guess the stupid heart wants what it wants and ignores common sense and everyone else's good advice.

Anyway, what can I do about it now, it's crashed and burnt and there's no going back, I need to take my mind off this, if I was born a month earlier I would be getting so drunk right now, but sadly I was born when I was born, one day too late to vote in the EU referendum, and years too late to be an alcoholic when I felt I should be. I guess I should talk about my day at school; it was a typical Thursday, double free periods in the morning, then double Psychology where I did my mock paper 2 exam and double Ethics where I spent the whole time avoiding revising for my exam tomorrow morning. It was relatively good weather in that it didn't rain, kind of humid so hopefully the half term will be warm and sunny.

Which reminds me, it's my step-father's birthday the day after tomorrow, so my 3 other step siblings will be coming up; Chloe, Hannah and Charlie. I know my ex has been talking to Hannah about me which makes me more than a little anxious, she can be quite mean when she wants to be. Although to be fair I'm just a kid compared to Mark, I'm sure she'll pity me just as much as him, I might just avoid them and spend the whole day in my room crying, eating my mini roll stash and re-watching my Supernatural DVDs. Which seems like a good enough plan from my point of view, although my mum might not appreciate me abandoning her with the girls (she's not their biggest fan).

I applied for a job the other day, my mum brought me back a job application form when she want to B&Q, apparently they're looking for a part time temp, so I'm not going to get my hopes up, I'm sure loads of people will have gone for the job, although it would be lovely to get some money to go on a holiday with my friends. When I told Mark he said it meant I had to come down and see him in Brighton more, which I didn't particularly fancy, that's where he goes for university and he lives in a house with 3 other people, one of which doesn't really like me. He also only has a single bed which sucks because I hate sleeping on the floor, especially as the guest, but what can you do. Well… I guess I don't have to put up with it anymore, ah well, girls holiday here we come haha (if I get the job that is, fingers crossed).

I can't think of much more to say and my stomach is starting to rumble, so I'll say goodbye for now, and write again soon,

Yours most faithfully, dear diary, love Josie x


	2. Chapter 2

It's Thursday again, I've wasted my whole half term watching House MD, I even bought my own Netflix subscription; I figured stealing Mark's would be a little rude after dumping him. It's weird I haven't thought about him at all, it's like he never existed! I feel a bit guilty because we did date for a year and a half, I just wanted to get out towards the end, fly solo haha. Saturday was a disaster, I tried to talk to my step-sisters but they didn't want to talk to me, and Chloe's fiancé kept on glaring at me, not that I care what he thinks of me. We had a barbeque and Hannah took my skewers so I had to have the ones with mushroom on which was pretty gross.

My last exam is next Friday, it's biology, we're sitting the paper that the people resitting last year's exam did, so I hope it will give me an advantage because I know the old course a lot better than my new class do, I've restarted Y12, you see, I spent too much time doing nothing and not preparing or revising enough and failed every single exam I took, the benefit of that is I got to go back to my old secondary school where the teachers know me and I have a handful of old friends (who don't speak to me much, might I add), the downside however is that I've lost a lot of people I used to be close with, plus the adventure of going to a new school on the other side of the city that was a short walk from the city centre. But it was my own fault so I shouldn't complain. Every dark cloud has a silver lining…

I wanted to move the wardrobe from the spare room into my room so I could finally hang up my dresses but mum said if I did that I had to give up my double bed, but seeing as the spare room was now Mark's room, having half my clothes in there could become a problem if he came to stay in the summer. So the guy who will now visit once or twice a year has a double bed and I, the person who lives here 5 nights a week have a single bed which is really hard with a sharp headboard. Silver linings, silver linings….. If I sleep in a single bed for the next year and 3 months, it won't be so much of a shock when I go to university and have a single room! There! Silver lining found!

Speaking of universities, I have an open day booked for next Tuesday, up north in South Tyneside, I'm not really looking to do there I'd just do anything to avoid a 6-hour day of triple Biology, then triple Psychology, it's very tiring. Open days are really fun, I went to 3 last year; one in my home town, one in York and one in London, me and my mum had so much fun!

This whole writing on a Thursday thing seems pretty good, maybe I'll try and stick to it, it's just that I must have started 5 diaries in my life and never written more than 5 pages in each before either losing the diary itself or simply losing interest in putting my thought on paper. Let's keep our fingers crossed, diary, I have a good feeling about this one!

I'll write again soon, you're such a good listener hahaha

Yours most faithfully, love Josie x


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